


Blocky or Pixelated

by spaceRomeo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Arguments, Dumbass Dave, Fighting, Minecraft, Minecraft Steve’s dick?????, Other, Weird fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27076765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceRomeo/pseuds/spaceRomeo
Summary: Karkat and Sollux fight about whether Minecraft Steve’s dick would be blocky or pixelated.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the best and worst thing Ive ever written. I hope you like it.

Only god knows how much you hate Sollux. He always gets on your goddamn nerves.

“Ugh! You nooksniffer! You know I’m right! You’re just fucking denying it!”

Sollux rolls his eyes at you. That fucking son of a bitch. You are both just standing, staring at eachother. You’re going to kill him. 

“You’re just being a little fuck. I’m the one in the right. I guess *you* wouldn’t understand.”

“Ugh! You always act like you’re so high and mighty!”

“It’s not my fault for being smarter than you! Steve’s dick is definitely blocky!”

“It’s fucking pixelated!”

You’re going to burst. God, everyone is so annoying. Why can’t they shut the fuck up, you’re smarter. 

“It’s the same fucking thing! Pixelated and blocky are the same. And every. Fucking. Thing. In Minecraft. Is. BLOCKY.”

“No, they are not! The items aren’t fucking blocky, they’re pixelated! If they wanted to give Steve a human “penis”, they would make it realistic!” You growl at Sollux.

“It’s fucking blocky!” Sollux growls back.

“No it’s not!”

“Well, KARKAT, in myyy opinion, which is correct, it’s blocky.” Sollux crosses his arms and turns away from you. The fucking audacity this idiot has.

“We need to get someone else! I know they’ll say I’m right! Like, I don’t knowing, fucking Strider!”

“Ugh, he’s just your boyfriend. I don’t think you’d get this, but he’s just gonna confirm whatever you say.”

“Goddammit, I used him because he’s dumb, but even he’d know it’s blocky!” 

Sollux turns back towards you, about to respond, but he’s interupted.

The door swings open, and hits the wall. “Did I uhhhh.... did I hear my name? And uh... am I interrupting something?” Godammit. Speak of the devil. Fucking Dave.

“We are having a debate, and we need your help to see who’s right!” Sollux yells at Dave. 

“Okay man. If it’s any of your troll shit I can’t help, though,” Dave fully comes in, and shuts the door. He adjusts his sunglasses. It’s dumb as fuck that he’s wearing them inside, it’s not even that bright. Can he even see?

“Ugh, I didn’t want to get you involved, but fine. Would Minecraft Steve’s human dick be blocky, or pixelated?”

“Excuse me, what the fuck?” Dave visiblely blinks. He’s examining your face, trying to find the sarcasm. “You’re arguing about what now? This sounds like Egbert’s thing.”

“Ughhh, Not Egbert, we don’t need that son of a bitch in here. But we need your opinion! Is it blocky, or pixelated?!” You move towards Dave, and lean towards his face. For intimidation reasons. Nothing else. “Cmon, it’s fucking pixelated, I’m right, right?”

Dave thinks for a moment. You watch as he stares past you, into the distance. You guess he’s doing the human thing, “zoning out”? You’ve got a totally smarter troll version of that. Which you’re too smart to reveal.

“It’s probably fuckin blocky and pixelated, man.”

“What?” You and Sollux both say at the same time. Dave can’t be fucking serious.

“Yknow, his body is like, blocky as shit. But he has a pixelated face. It would be like.... blocky and pixelated details, yknow?” Dave explains. 

“I’m surprised he didn’t agree with you. But, we no longer need your dumb human presence. It definitely wouldn’t be blocky AND pixelated, that’s unheard of.”

“Whatever,” Dave slides away from you, and you realize that you were still leaning near his face. You step away, and give him space to open the door. He leaves.

“Well, I guess we’re not solving that.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Hey, are we still friends?”

“Stop asking that! You always ask that!”


	2. Dave’s point of view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Dave feels after being called in to discuss Minecraft dicks.

You are... confused, to say the least. 

You know that Karkat and Sollux get in a lot of arguments, but they always act so serious. Why are they getting so mad about Minecraft dicks? How did this come up? 

It honestly doesn’t matter. You’re gonna ask Egbert. You see him and Rose on the couch, chatting about some nerdy shit. Maybe wizards. Maybe movies. Not even ironically, not cool.

“Uh, guys? I’ve got some weird ass fucking shit to tell you.” John and Rose look at you. You swing your legs over the couch and sit on the top, holding your head in your hands.

“Karkat and Sollux were fighting about the weirdest thing.”

“Uh, well, duh. Those weirdos are always fighting.”

“Karkat isn’t that weird, he’s kinda cool actually, but that’s not the fucking point. They were fighting about whether Steve- from Minecraft- whether his dick would be blocky or pixelated.”

Rose squints at you. “You all... confuse me. What is going on in your heads?”

“Okay, I know I talk about some weird ass shit sometimes, but this shit is weirder, man.”

“Well, uh, what do you think? Is it... blocky or pixelated?” John asks.

“Damn, they asked me that too. I’d say it’d be fucking both,” you pause. “Like.. his body is blocky. It’d only make sense if his fuckin dick was blocky too, but like... pixelated details.”

“How did this even come up?” Rose gets more and more confused the more you talk. She’s too smart for this.

“That’s what I wanna know! I just heard them yell my name so I went to see what was up.”

“It’s definitely strange, but you’re right. Steve has pixelated items, so we know pixelated stuff is possible, and then yknow he has the blocky body, which kind of reminds me of something I saw in a movie once-“

“If you start ranting about movies, I’m out. Goodbye.”

You watch as Rose looks from you, back to John, and then you again. She pulls one of her journals out of who knows where, and starts writing. She doesn’t have to analyze * everything. *

“Rose, what do you think?”

She looks up from her journal. Her face twists, she looks annoyed. “I do not have an opinion on the matter. Just.. no comment.”

“Oh cmon! That’s disappointing. You got nothing?” John put his hands onto Rose’s shoulders.

Rose pulls away, and stands up, journal in hand. She walks over to the door. “I do, in fact, have nothing. But I think it is my time to take my leave.” 

You watch as Rose pulls the door open, and leaves. You slide down fully onto the couch, and sit next to Egbert. “Wanna... wanna play fucking Minecraft?”

“Sure, why not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An add on to the best worst thing I’ve ever written. Might just keep on fucking adding, who knows.


End file.
